I think about quitting, often.
In retrospect, I jumped into teaching yoga far too soon. The love affair with the practice was fast and deep, and it felt like gravity and people and something "energetically" was pulling me to share with others.
But I am a student, and also a messy-minded/hearted/souled person too. I am also trying to figure things out and screw up less and protect my heart from the natural passing away of people and things.
But a Teacher of Yoga? I personally don't take that label lightly. Almost every day I wonder whether I'm doing it justice--whether I'm embodying and sharing the practice in a way that not only imparts the significance of the ancient wisdom traditions of several branching lineages, but also that I'm honoring and staying current on Modern Yoga, whatever that means.
More than a teacher, I want to remain a student of Yoga and Life. And the more I teach and practice the less I know. It's inspiring humility, and showing me my ego in a way where I can't turn away.
So I probably won't be offering teacher trainings anytime soon. I don't think we need more yoga teachers being churned out of 200 hour yoga schools. We need more dedicated, curious, compassionate and KIND students of life! As Rusty would say, this is LIFE training! I could care less about what poses you can do, or if you can recite the whole Yoga Sutra in Sanskrit. Impressive, sure, but to what end? Are you a nicer person? Are your relationships impeccable? Do you no longer lie--even a little bit? We need more yoga students, not teachers. All I hope to do in teaching is to remind people to be amazed and curious and compassionate and forgiving and extra kind.
I won't be quitting teaching today, but rather re-commiting to my studentship in life. And when I do mess up (and I will), know that I'm human as can be. And that in my teaching and my practice I will always do my very best.
Teachers: keep studying yourself and life through your yoga. Don't get stuck and obsessed with Asana transitions and bio-mechanics or your bio, however seductive and interesting for your front brain that may be. Focus your practice on the big stuff. Begin again.